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Snidmee Putman
Snidmee Putman is a harmless, low-level resident of Itchytown and roadside landmark. Appearance Snidmee is a trashy female human. She has curly brown hair in a messy bedhead resembling a large hairball. Her default expression is a crooked, drowsy smile; it takes great effort for her to display facial expressions, so she tries not to push herself too hard. Snidmee is affected by a freckle disease that manifests itself in prominent freckles all over her body that vary in shape and size and can disappear and reappear without warning. Her feet are constantly swollen from living at an altitude just above sea level, but she is not bothered by this and is still capable of moving around as she normally would. Snidmee's usual outfit consists of a jhat (jean hat), a gem sweater, patterned hammer shorts, sparkling pink gladiator jelly sandals, and a salmon-and-orange-coloured "patchwork" fur coat made out of shag carpet with multiple pockets for her mutant bunny friends to hide in. She is said to smell like AquaNet hairspray, hand cream and musty paper. Personality It is easy to mistake Snidmee for being in a drunken haze, or in a borderline state between sleep and consciousness. She moves slowly and clumsily, and speaks in a slurred, discordant groan that is sometimes too indistinct to understand. Snidmee can often be found lying on the ground "relaxing" in random areas of Itchytown. Although her appearance and mannerisms can be unsettling, Snidmee is generally benign. She feels great compassion for any creature in need, and will take in any lost or homeless creature or inanimate object she sees. This habit contributes significantly to the cleanliness of Itchytown, as it reduces the amount of litter on its streets. Snidmee easily develops obsessions with 1980s celebrity musicians and has attempted to meet them numerous times. However, despite attempts by said celebrities to warn others about her, it is difficult to prove she exists. Abilities Snidmee is able to eat scrap metal, audio equipment and licorice allsorts. When she plays records at the highest speed setting possible, the sound sends a signal to her brain and she shifts into Maximum Velocity. In this state, she is able to travel at speeds high enough to break the sound barrier. Snidmee's freestyle dancing can induce confusion, disorientation, dizziness, nausea and fainting in spectators. She is fluent in Nooblish and Microsoft GS Wavetable SW Synth. She also knows how to activate almonds. Personal life Snidmee lives in an attic above her business Snidmee's Nifty Thrifties Bargain Basement, conveniently located close to the Jumble Junction. She sews clothes out of scraps of fabric and fabric-like substances in her free time and sells them at her shop. She has also dabbled in shoemaking, with the Precious Kitty Little Treasures Flats being a particular success. Occasionally, she hosts dances at the Bargain Basement and DJs with her homemade mixtapes and broken equipment. Her mutant bunnies live in an enormous warren in the backyard, which includes guest rooms for visiting bunnies. Relationships Allies * The Noobles: Snidmee and the Noobles are in a military alliance and have promised to support one another in case of a crisis. * Mayrrius VanLoowen/Maddielyne Putman: Snidmee has a very positive relationship with these two trashy humans. She makes them special recipes as gifts, such as the Enticement Roll and the Entertainment Mousse. Enemies * The Crayola Silly Scents Foods Trivia * The North American house hippo is real and lives in Snidmee's house. * Snidmee is a master worm charmer. * One of Snidmee's main sources of income is 5% of songwriting royalties from the Speedy Glass jingle. * Snidmee has applied to and been rejected from numerous bands, including the Bangles, the Go-Go's, Jefferson Airplane, Bananarama, Air Supply and ABBA. * Gold lamé suits give Snidmee heart palpitations so severe that she has to ingest special medication from the Nartmacy to calm down. * Snidmee would die for Carly Rae Jepsen.